Smorgasbord
3
Friday,
November 28, 1997
© Copyright 1997 by NewHeavenNewEarth
smorgasbord
(smor-gos-bord) n.
A buffet meal featuring a varied number of dishes.
Another NHNE publication --
albeit more loosely knit than most
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Total Subscribers:
This week: 953
Last week: 946
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"With money in your pocket,
you are wise,
and you are handsome,
and you sing well too."
---Jewish Proverb
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CONTENTS:
NEWS WATCH:
Indian Rights Activists Arrested in Plymouth
Computer Users Are Socially Tolerant
Internet Reaches Crossroads
Moody Newsletter
El Nino Dampens Hurricane Season
Highest Ice Core Ever Drilled
Microcar
New Hope for Cheap, Clean Power
Sharp Decline in Sperm Density
Brazilian Mayor Bans Contraceptives
Killer Ants
LETTERS & TEST RESULTS:
Test Results
"I Felt Inspired to Pray"
NOTES FROM THE HOME PLANET:
Tecumseh & Pushmataha
IN SEARCH OF THE PROMISED LAND:
The Mirror of Love
THE LIGHTER SIDE:
The Tandem Story
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NEWS WATCH:
INDIAN RIGHTS ACTIVISTS ARRESTED IN PLYMOUTH
(Source: REUTERS, 11/28/97)
An American Indian rights protest at the birthplace of Thanksgiving turned
into a melee Thursday, and more than two dozen people were arrested. Indian
rights activists have marked Thanksgiving Day for nearly 30 years with protests
over the treatment of Indians since the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth in 1620.
On Thursday, police confronted between 150 and 200 protesters when they tried
to march down a street that authorities had ruled off-limits to them, officials
said. The demonstrators were ordered to disperse and became unruly when officers
began to make arrests. Twenty-five people were arrested on disorderly-conduct
and other charges. Local news reports said police used Mace on some protesters
and several people were injured.
http://www.yahoo.com/headlines/971128/news/stories/protest_1.html
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COMPUTER USERS ARE SOCIALLY TOLERANT
(Source: CNN, AP, 11/23/97)
People who spend a lot of time at their computers are libertarian, socially
tolerant and civically active, according to a new survey. The poll was
commissioned by the MERRILL LYNCH FORUM, the brokerage's in-house think
tank. It found
that frequent users of such things as email and cellular phones vote more
often and are better informed than most Americans. Other findings of the
poll: Some 48 percent of those identified by the survey as "Connected
Americans" are female; Digital citizens are more optimistic about
the future than the population as a whole; They are far more passionately
committed
to free markets. The survey results appear in the December issue of WIRED
magazine.
http://www.cnn.com/TECH/9711/23/digital.nation.ap/index.html
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INTERNET REACHES CROSSROADS
(Source: BBC NEWS, 11/24/97)
Most root servers, which allow the Internet to work, are based in the United
States. The United States administration, which set up the international
computer network, now wants to pull out of running it. The system is controlled
by THE PENTAGON. It relies on root servers, which like giant directories,
constantly check and update every Internet address. Every time a user calls
up an Internet address, their computer contacts a root server. Despite
the global nature of the Internet, there are only 13 root servers in the
world.
All but two are in America. NETWORK SOLUTIONS, which operates under licence
from THE PENTAGON, is the most powerful root server of all and registers
every new Internet address in America. The question now is who should take
over the running of these critical facilities and the issuing of Internet
addresses from the Pentagon. Whoever takes over will have considerable
power over the system. Some governments are trying to take over the task
in their
own countries. But those who helped build the system are putting up resistance.
Internet designer Tony Rutkowski said: "The Internet is fundamentally
a network of private networks. It is not owned by public authorities...
there's really no need for governments."
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_34000/34180.stm
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MOODY NEWSLETTER
(Thanks to Jan Morrow for forwarding this information)
Dr. Raymond A. Moody, one of the world's foremost experts on near-death experiences,
is starting a newsletter to share his research with those who are interested.
You can subscribe to his newsletter by sending a check or money order for
$25.00 to:
Dr. Raymond Moody
P.O. Box 1882
Anniston, AL 36202
Please make checks or money orders out to "Dr. Raymond Moody" and
indicate on your check or money order that it is for subscription to the
newsletter.
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EL NINO DAMPENS HURRICANE SEASON
(Source: EUREKALERT, 11/26/97)
1997 hurricane activity in the Atlantic Basin was less than predicted by
COLORADO STATE UNIVERSITY's noted team of hurricane forecasters. The team,
lead by Professor William Gray, issued a report today (Nov. 26) that outlined
why the El Nino of 1997 flattened the team's August prediction of 11 named
storms, six hurricanes and two intense hurricanes for the season. Instead,
the Atlantic Basin saw seven named storms, three hurricanes and one intense
hurricane during the season, which ends Nov. 30. On average, 9.3 tropical
storms, 5.8 hurricanes and 2.2 intense hurricanes form annually. Although
the hurricane season was below average, Gray's statistics show that the
period between 1995-1997 was still the busiest three-year period for hurricane
activity
on record. The three-year span generated 39 named storms, 23 hurricanes
(13 of which were intense) and 116 hurricane days. As predicted in the
team's
August forecast, El Nino pushed many of the storms that did form in 1997
to higher latitudes -- some of them closer to the United States. "The
1997 El Nino was truly in a class by itself," Gray said. "But
I don't think it will be around to influence the 1998 hurricane season
to any
significant degree."
http://www.eurekalert.org/releases/elnincsu-3yrpd.html
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HIGHEST ICE CORE EVER DRILLED
(Source: OHIO STATE PALEOCLIMATOLOGY RESEARCH GROUP, 11/21/97)
An expedition to a glacier atop the world's 14th highest peak in the Himalayan
Mountains has returned with ice cores containing climate records that could
reach back into the last glacial stage -- some 12,000 years ago. The international
expedition, led by OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY researchers, included American,
Chinese, Peruvian, Russian and Nepalese members. The Dasuopu glacier cores
should be very important for providing a more accurate picture of the monsoonal
climate system that affects that part of Asia. The monsoons in Asia directly
affect one of the most populated regions on Earth and make up a sizable
portion of the planet's collective climate system. Expedition researchers
hoped that
the new cores would provide a look at annual climate variations for as
much as the last 3,000 years, and 10-year "snapshots" for climate
throughout the rest of the core.
http://www.acs.ohio-state.edu/units/research/archive/dasuopu.htm
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MICROCAR
(Source: CNN ONLINE, 11/22/97)
Looking for a small car? Check out the sub-sub-sub compact from Australia
-- said to be the world's smallest car. Scientists demonstrated how small
the 5-millimeter-long (0.2-inch) car is by having it circle some Australian
10-cent coins. Roughly the size of a rice grain, the car drives itself and
travels 0.36 kmh (.22 mph). Neither the speed -- nor the size -- would be
sufficient for a human driver, but that doesn't bother scientists. What interests
them is how far they can take miniaturization. Miniature motors could have
a wide range of uses, and the makers are reveling in this advance in nanotechnology.
http://www.cnn.com/TECH/9711/22/micro.car/index.html
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NEW HOPE FOR CHEAP, CLEAN POWER
(Source: Toby Murcott, BBC NEWS, 11/23/97)
At present, virtually all electricity generation consumes limited resources
of coal, oil, gas and uranium, and produces noxious effluent such as smoke,
carbon dioxide and radioactive waste. The emission of such gases may be
causing global warming. A new type of nuclear fusion reactor holds out
the possibility
of unlimited, cheap, clean energy that does not involve the production
of hazardous radioactive waste or the burning of fossil fuels. Its designers
hope to have the power plant working within a decade. The system is relatively
simple compared to current nuclear fusion reactors and calculations suggest
that it could produce electricity more cheaply than fossil fuel powered
generators.
There are other advantages too. "Our reactor for say one hundred megawatts,
which would be able to power a small-sized city, would be about the size
of three or four big city buses standing next to each other," said
Hendrik Monkhorst of the UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/sci/tech/newsid_33000/33725.stm
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SHARP DECLINE IN SPERM DENSITY
(Source: EUREKALERT, 11/24/97)
After an extensive review of data from 61 published studies, three California
researchers have concluded that a decline in average sperm density reported
in the U.S. and other Western countries may be even greater than previously
estimated. Their analysis of data collected from 1938 to 1990 indicates that
sperm densities in the United States have exhibited an average annual decrease
of 1.5 million sperm per milliliter of collected sample, or about 1.5 percent
per year, while those in European countries have declined at about twice
that rate (3.1 percent per year). While there is no evidence that this apparent
decline in sperm density has led to reduced fertility, the authors say sperm
count may be a surrogate indicator of effects on the male reproductive system.
They say, for example, that in countries such as Denmark, England and the
United States, where sperm counts have fallen, the incidence of testicular
cancer has increased dramatically over the last 25 years, while in Finland,
where sperm counts are still relatively high, testicular cancer rates have
remained low.
http://www.eurekalert.org/releases/intldata-spermdecln.html
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BRAZILIAN MAYOR BANS CONTRACEPTIVES
(Source: REUTERS, 11/18/97)
A Brazilian mayor has banned the sale of contraceptives in his town in an
attempt to increase the local population and maintain funding from the central
government. Under government funding rules, Bocaiuva do Sul stands to see
its grant from Brasilia fall from about $110,000 a year to $70,000 because
of a recent drop in the number of inhabitants. However, if the population
rises to 12,000, up from about 8,600 now, funding would remain at its current
levels.
http://www.yahoo.com/headlines/971118/odd/stories/contraception_1.html
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KILLER ANTS
(Source: CNN ONLINE, 11/26/97)
Argentine ants hitched a ride to the United States from their native country
in the late 1800s, most likely by stowing away with a shipment of coffee.
By the early 1900s, biologists started seeing them take up residence in San
Diego County. Now scientists say they are overwhelming native ant species
and threatening the food source of at least one other animal. One scientist
fears they are even endangering the entire coastal ecosystem. Scientists
David Holway and Andy Suarez, who have been studying the Argentine ants for
years, say the ants have proven adept at establishing themselves in the area
at the expense of other ant species. They will attack entire colonies of
native ants. Their power comes in their numbers. Argentines live in incredibly
large colonies that work as units to attack other species. The Argentine
ants also have other advantages: They can move their nests quickly when they
are disturbed; Instead of just one queen, they have dozens -- which makes
it easier for them to start new colonies; Most important, one colony of Argentine
ants will not fight with another.
http://www.cnn.com/EARTH/9711/26/ant.invaders/index.html
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LETTERS & TEST RESULTS:
[Editor's Note: Last week, in Smorgasbord 2, I invited all of you to swing
by and take a look at a few pictures I posted on the Web (http://www.nhne.com/test.html).
I did this because I wanted to see how many of you actually read the material
we send you AND respond to invitations like the one I issued last week. Overall,
I'm afraid most of the people on this mailing list, like most online mailing
lists, appear to be, well, asleep at their keyboards. Of 953 people, only
72 of you fired up your browser and took a peak. On the positive side, many
of you who did visit the URL I included in last week's Smorgasbord, appreciated
what you found -- and took the time to let me know. Here is one of the letters
I received.]
I FELT INSPIRED TO PRAY
I enjoyed going to the link provided as a "test" to see who is
reading end of the Smorgasbord newsletter. There were several pictures
I liked that you had posted.
Notable was the picture of the father praying over his son with the night
sky in the background and the pictures of Jesus. When I saw that picture
of the father praying I immediately felt inspired to pray for the Presence
of Christ to guide my son, my daughter, me, Heather and other members of
my family. There is a pure, light feeling in prayer. Prayer is a beautiful
way to lay it all down and open to the Divine Presence.
Bob Manrodt, Reading, PA
http://www.well.com/www/bobby/
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NOTES FROM THE HOME PLANET:
[Editor's Note: In Smorgasbord 1, I included a little information about
the Lewis & Clark Expedition. In Smorgasbord 2, I included a few quotes
from some of the Native Americans that were affected by the European exodus
to
the New World. In this issue, I'm including the eloquent comments of two
Native Americans who championed opposite sides of the Native American/European
situation.]
TECUMSEH & PUSHMATAHA
In the spring of 1811 Tecumseh, of the Shawnee, spoke with warriors from
the Choctaw and Chickasaw tribes. After he spoke, Pushmataha, a chief of
the Choctaws, spoke. Excerpts from these two powerful speeches graphically
illustrate the views and conflicts nearly all native people wrestled with
once the white man came to their land.
TECUMSEH:
"The whites are already nearly a match for us all united, and too strong
for any one tribe alone to resist; so that unless we support one another with
our collective and united forces; unless every tribe unanimously combines to
give check to the ambition and avarice of the whites, they will soon conquer
us apart and disunited, and we will be driven away from our native country
and scattered as autumn leaves before the wind....
"Where today is the Pequod? Where the Narragensetts, the Mohawks, Poncanokets,
and many other once powerful tribes of our race? They have vanished before
the avarice and oppression of the white men, as snow before a summer sun. In
the
vain hope of alone defending their ancient possessions, they have fallen in
the wars with the white men....
"Are we not being stripped day by day of the little that remains of our
ancient liberty? Do they not even kick and strike us as they do their black-faces?
How long will it be before they will tie us to a post and whip us, and make
us work for them in their corn fields as they do them?....
"Shall we give up our homes, our country, bequeathed to us by the Great
Spirit, the graves of our dead, and everything that is dear and sacred to us,
without a struggle? I know you will cry with me: Never! Never! Then let us
by unity of action destroy them all, which we now can do, or drive them back
whence
they came. War or extermination is now our only choice. Which do you choose?
I know your answer. Therefore, I now call on you, brave Choctaws and Chickasaws,
to assist in the just cause of liberating our race from the grasp of our faithless
invaders and heartless oppressors. The white usurpation in our common country
must be stopped, or we, its rightful owners, be forever destroyed and wiped
out as a race of people....
"And if there be one among you mad enough to undervalue the growing power
of the white race among us, let him tremble in considering the fearful woes
he will bring down upon our entire race, if by his criminal indifference he assists
the designs of our common enemy against our common country. Then listen to
the
voice of duty, of honor, of nature and of your endangered country. Let us form
one body, one heart, and defend to the last warrior our country, our homes,
our liberty, and the graves of our fathers."
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PUSHMATAHA:
"The great Shawnee orator has portrayed in vivid picture the wrongs inflicted
on his and other tribes by the ravanges of the paleface....We sympathize with
the misfortunes of his people....
"If Tecumseh's words be true, and we doubt them not, then the Shawnee's
experience with the whites has not been the same as that of the Choctaws. These
white Americans buy our skins, our corn, our cotton, our surplus game, our
baskets, and other wares, and they give us in fair exchange their cloth, their
guns, their
tools, implements, and other things which the Choctaws need but do not make.
It is true that we have befriended them, but who will deny that these acts
of friendship have been abundantly reciprocated? They have given us cotton gins,
which simplify the spinning and sale of our cotton; they have encouraged and
helped us in the production of our crops; they have taken many of our wives
into
their homes to teach them useful things, and pay them for their work while
learning; they teach our children to read and write from their books. You all
remember
the dreadful epidemic visited upon us last winter. During its darkest hours
these neighbors whom we are now urged to attack, responded generously to our
needs.
They doctored our sick; they clothed our suffering; they fed our hungry; and
where is the Choctaw or Chickasaw delegation who has ever gone to St. Stephens
with a worthy cause and been sent away empty-handed? So, in marked contrast
with the experiences of the Shawnees, it will be seen that the whites and Indians
in this section are living on friendly and mutually beneficial terms....
"It is unnecessary for me to remind you, O Choctaws and Chickasaws, veteran
braves of many fierce conflicts in the past, that war is an awful thing. If
we go to war against the Americans, we must be prepared to accept its inevitable
results. Not only will it foretoken deadly conflict with neighbors and death
to warriors, but it will mean suffering for our women, hunger and starvation
for our children, grief for our loved ones, and devastation of our beloved
homes.
Not withstanding these difficulties, if the cause be just, we should not hesitate
to defend our rights to the last man, but before that fatal step is irrevocably
taken, it is well that we fully understand and seriously consider the full
portent and consequences of the act....Therefore, let me admonish you that this
critical
period is no time to cast aside your wits and let blind impulse sway; be not
driven like dumb brutes by the frenzied harangue of this wonderful Shawnee
orator; let your good judgement rule and ponder seriously before breaking bonds
that
have served you well..."
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After Tecumseh and Pushmataha both spoke, and the warriors sided with Pushmataha,
Tecumseh declared Pushmataha a coward and called the Choctaw and Chickasaw
warriors squaws. Pushmataha answered Tecumseh's remarks with the following.
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PUSHMATAHA:
"Halt, Tecumseh! Listen to me. You have come here, as you have often gone
elsewhere, with a purpose to involve peaceful people in unnecessary trouble
with their neighbors. Our people have no undue friction with the whites. Why?
Because
we have no leaders stirring up strife to serve their selfish, personal ambitions.
You heard me say that our people are a peaceful people. They make their way,
not by ravages upon their neighbors, but by honest toil. In that regard they
have nothing in common with you. I know your history well. You are a disturber.
You have ever been a trouble maker. When you have found yourself unable to
pick a quarrel with the white man, you have stirred up strife between different
tribes
of your own race. Not only that, you are a monarch and unyielding tyrant within
your own domain; every Shawnee man, woman, and child must bow in humble submission
to your imperious will. The Choctaws and Chickasaws have no monarchs. Their
chieftains do not undertake mastery of their people, but rather are they the
people's servants,
elected to serve the will of the majority. The majority has spoken on this
question and it has spoken against your contention. Their decision has therefore
become
the law of the Choctaws and Chickasaws and Pushmataha will see that the will
of the majority so recently expressed is rigidly carried out to the letter.
"If, after this decision, any Choctaw should be so foolish as to follow
your imprudent advice and enlist to fight against the Americans, thereby abandoning
his own people and turning against the decision of his own council, Pushmataha
will see that proper punishment is meted out to him, which is death. You have
made your choice; you have elected to fight with the British. The Americans
have been our friends and we shall stand by them. We will furnish you safe conduct
to the boundaries of this nation as properly befits the dignity of your office.
Farewell, Tecumseh. You will see Pushmataha no more until we meet on the fateful
warpath."
---From "Indian Oratory," Compiled by W.C. Vanderwerth,
Published by the University of Oklahoma Press
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IN SEARCH OF THE PROMISED LAND:
THE MIRROR OF LOVE
By Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.
My wife, Helen, and I have known each other for eighteen years and have
been married for thirteen. Recently, we were asked to present a keynote
address
on the subject of "keeping the dream alive." We were asked to
talk about our relationship and the techniques we have devised to keep
our love
growing and thriving. At first, Helen and I were intimidated -- we certainly
didn't want to present ourselves as models, but we also didn't want to
present ourselves as too flawed. Finally, we decided we'd just tell the
truth --
that our current relationship is the result of thirteen years of struggle,
years that have been every bit as challenging for us as for anybody else.
One of the major difficulties that we encountered over the years was an inability
to make romantic moments last. It seemed that every time we created a romantic
moment, whether it was reading poetry to each other, going to a movie, or
having dinner at a fine restaurant, we just couldn't seem to hold it. It
would last for hat evening, maybe -- but we would definitely blow it within
a few days, if not that very night. Then we'd be back into tension with each
other. So, at a certain point, we both just stopped trying to be romantic.
Why work at what wasn't working?
Once we realized what was happening, we began to look at our relationship
with a critical eye. We found that our romantic moments were sabotaged when
we became analytical of a trait or behavior in the other person. For instance,
we would have different points of view about a movie and we'd show little
appreciation for the other's ideas. We would criticize each other. And then
we made an interesting discovery: We each possessed the very same traits
that we criticized in the other. And not wanting to accept a particular disliked
trait in ourselves, we would assign it to the other. We came to understand
that rejection of a trait or behavior in the other was actually a form of
self-rejection. We concluded that unconscious self-hatred was the source
of our conflict and probably fueled the power struggles of many (if not all)
couples.
Not only does this unconscious self-hatred get in the way of expressing love,
it also interferes with receiving love. You cannot feel worthy of accepting
love if you unconsciously hate yourself or even hate some parts of yourself.
We finally realized that in order to increase our self-love, we had to learn
to love in the other person the trait we most disliked in ourselves. And
we had to stop criticizing each other, because the more we criticized a disliked
trait in the other, the more we increased our unconscious self-hatred. Putting
it all together, we came to the conclusion that self-love is the paradoxical
achievement of loving another, especially that part of the other which we
reject in ourselves.
To this end, we created a system for developing what we call
a conscious marriage. In such a relationship, conflict is reframed
as an unconscious
attempt to resolve issues and connect at a deeper level. We developed a
special form of communication that we believe is essential to
any relationship. This
process, called "intentional dialogue," was inspired by the Jewish
philosopher and theologian Martin Buber.
The process includes three steps:
The first step involves what we call "direct mirroring." It is
designed to help the listener hear the other person without any interpretation
of emotional reaction: the listener merely reflects back the speaker's
words. All emotional interpretations of what the words mean are dropped.
The listener
simply paraphrases back to the speaker what the speaker just said, without
judgement.
Step two is what I call "validation." Once the listener has heard
the other person without adding any interpretation, he or she then must try
to see the issue from the others point of view. An example could sound something
like, "What you are saying to me makes sense, because ..." Then
the listener completes the sentence, filling in the blanks after because.
Another example: "Given the fact that I was late, it makes sense to
me that you would think I didn't care or that I didn't take my obligation
seriously." This statement forces the listener to see that the logic
in the other person's mind is equal in value and truth to the logic in
his or her own mind. It's a very self-transcendent act and a great equalizer!
The third part of the dialogue process is "empathic relating," or
truly understanding the partner's feelings. When you are able to mirror the
feelings of the other person, validate the other, and see through his or
her eyes, then you have become empathic. An instance of empathic relating: "Given
what you are experiencing, I can imagine that you must feel hurt or excited
or angry." Amazingly, if you keep practicing empathic behavior, you
will eventually begin to experience the actual feelings and inner world
of the other person. Through empathy, you will share your essential connectedness
while remaining your unique individuality. We call it freeing the partner
from the prison of our conceptions.
Helen and I, with the help of Buber, see this process as discovering
the "Thou-ness" of
the other person without surrendering the "I-ness" of oneself.
I am not really capable of loving you until I surrender the position that
my way is the right way, until I can see the logic of the way your mind works,
and until I can experience your feelings as yours, separate from mine. It's
when I can truly see and experience your "Thou-ness" that I can
begin to love. Up to that point, what I may profess to love is actually
what I imagine you to be. I am only really loving my own representation
of you.
True love is when I can experience and honor your otherness, apart from
my needs and expectations. And I can maintain that love, even though my
experience
of you may not always be either satisfying to me or a way to serve my needs.
We have also been able to use this process when dealing with
our children. Just recently, I was frustrated with Hunter, who
is ten, and began to express
my feelings in a strong way. Instead of reacting by defending himself,
he began to mirror my thoughts and feelings, which rapidly brought
the tension
to an end. Another time, during a car trip, I was expressing some anger
to my wife about something she had done. My daughter Leah then
leaned over the
front seat and whispered into Helen's ear, "Mirror him, Mom." That
effectively ended the scene! But the best part of all this is that the
level of emotional connection between Helen and me is now being experienced
by
our children.
Helen and I also use intentional dialogue with our adult children. Whenever
they are upset with us, we invite them into dialogue. The conversation sometimes
is very long, but it always ends with connection rather than conflict, distance,
and alienation.
You can also use this process for responding to positive experiences, not
just conflictive ones; it enhances the communication and deepens the connection
between you and the other person.
Feelings of being unloved have more to do with a person's own
unconscious self-hatred and self-rejection than with a true absence
of love. So the question
is, "How can you get in touch with your unconscious self-hatred and
begin to modulate it?"
You can do this by becoming aware of what you really don't like in your partner
or your children or in humankind in general. What is it that really bugs
you? I find that I get annoyed when my wife Helen overindulges in sweets
or spends what I think is too much time on the telephone. But then I also
sometimes overindulge or withdraw from people by spending too much time on
the computer. Once you can truthfully figure out what bothers you in other
people, you probably have accessed your own self-hatred, which has then been
projected on someone else.
How do you transcend this projection? I have found that I can learn from
looking at the function of a behavior in Helen's life (let's say, talking
on the telephone) and seeing what it means for my life. Then I try to figure
out if there's some part of my own behavior that is like hers (being on the
computer too long). If I reframe Helen's behavior as functional for her,
serving her in an important way, and value it -- even support it and love
it -- I can then begin to experience what I call parallel self-love. While
I am loving her, I am also loving myself. I have bypassed the unconscious
self-hatred. Every time I look at another person without judgment but with
understanding and empathy, I am doing the same thing for myself. The result
is that I experience the love I give.
As Helen and I have increased our own self-love through loving
each other, we have found that we don't need to set up romantic
events and times to express
our love. We have created a safe place and, as a result, feel romantic
all the time. If we get too busy, then we can just go back to
the intentional
dialogue system and give ourselves some time to reconnect. And there doesn't
have to be a conflict for us to communicate in this way. It is my belief
that it's in the safe space of seeing the other as a "Thou" that
love is born and sustained. One of my favorite sayings is that love does
not create marriage -- intentional, conscious marriage creates love. The
same is true in all relationships. This is how we have been able to keep
the dream of love and romance alive.
------------
From "Handbook for the Heart: Original Writings on Love," edited
by Richard Carlson and Benjamin Shield. Harville Hendrix, is the founder
and president of Imago Relationship Theraphy and the author of "Getting
the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples" and "Keeping the Love
You Find: A Guide for Singles."
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
THE LIGHTER SIDE:
THE TANDEM STORY
[Editor's Note: This assignment was actually turned in by two english students,
Rebecca and Gary, in a creative writing class. This is what happens when
you DON'T use the kind of process outlined above by Harville Hendrix.]
------------
Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process
is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her
immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a short
story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph
to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on
back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each time in order
to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion
has been reached.
------------
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile,
which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her
too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile.
But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness
was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started
acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things
to think about than the
neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established.
No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish
particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's
cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat
and across the cockpit.
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before
he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the
one woman who had ever
had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities
towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently
Abolishing War and Space Travel." Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
dreaming of her youth -- when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree,
with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense
of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must
one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership
launched the first of
its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed
the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress
had left Earth a
defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to
destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of
the treaty the Anu'udrian
ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize
the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
their diabolical
plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The
President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on
the ocean floor off the
coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized
Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed
his fist on the conference
table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's
blow'em out of the sky!"
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing
partner is a violent, chauvinistic, semi-literate adolescent.
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing
are the literary equivalent of Valium.
Asshole.
Bitch.
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
NHNE
MISSION STATEMENT, CREDITS & CONTACT INFORMATION
The
mission of NewHeavenNewEarth (NHNE) is to answer humankind's oldest,
most perplexing questions: Who are we? Where are we from? What is
the origin and purpose of life? Instead of relying on ancient or
contemporary wisdom, or the knowledge of isolated experts, we are
building a global network of seekers from all walks of life, from
all parts of the world, lay people and professionals alike, that
can pool talents, experience, and resources to unravel life's great
mysteries.
We
also believe that our planet is passing through a time of profound
change and are seeking to create a global community of like-minded
people that can safely pass through whatever changes may come our
way and help give birth to a new way of life on our planet.
------------
NewHeavenNewEarth
(NHNE)
a 501(c)3 non-profit organization
P.O. Box 2242
Sedona, AZ USA 86339
eMail:
nhne@nhne.com
NHNE Website: http://www.nhne.com/
Phone: (928) 282-6120
Fax: (815) 346-1492
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